


These High Walls

by camtomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Harry, Breakups, Childhood Friends, Depression, Emotional, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Gay, Gay Sex, Harry bottom, High School, House Parties, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Pride, Louis top, M/M, Mental Illness, Party, Sex, Smut, Top Louis, Underage - Freeform, closet, friends - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29281038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camtomlinson/pseuds/camtomlinson
Summary: If love is so beautiful. Why does it hurt so much.But, is there joy without pain? or, is there pain without joy?finding yourself is hard without loosing who you used to be on the way there.how can you stay friends with someone who you love as more than a friend without being ready for it yet?
Relationships: Gigi Hadid/Zayn Malik, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Original Male Character(s), Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	These High Walls

**Author's Note:**

> First story i officially publish!  
> -  
> The story will normally be in third person but when it's on a POV it will be clarified  
> -  
> Here's a link to the Spotify playlist i made for this book https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3kOhkz21W9yqpzh9Q31vSB?si=FOp5Md3ORYOmMnyj92b-Ow
> 
> -
> 
> i know the ages might not perfectly match but it will be clarified!  
> -
> 
> i will try to use the UK school system as much as i can, because after all, this book is set in the UK. so the equivalents to the US would be  
> freshman, ages 14/15, year 10  
> sophomore, ages 15/16, year 11  
> junior, ages 16/17, year 12  
> senior, ages 17/18, year 13  
> -  
> ENJOY!  
> please leave your comments and kudos!

"White lips, pale face  
Breathing in the snowflakes  
Burnt lungs, sour taste  
Light's gone, days end"

\---

Louis' POV

I rush through the hallways and make my way to the last class I have today. When i walk into the classroom. My best mate, Zayn is sitting there, waiting for me. His tan skin looks gold while the sunshine softly hits it through the window . His gorgeous eyes light up his face, holding all the things they've ever seen, mysteriously being shielded by his long dark eyelashes and a strand of his loose hair floating over them. And don't get me started on his hair, oh his hair, just careless but perfect, messy, but tidy. It frames his face so perfectly. He just looks like he could be some kind of Greek god. I mean, if I was a girl I'd definitely fuck him...

BUT I AM STRAIGHT!

I am straight. Yeah. I've always liked girls. I have a huge crush over Taylor Swift, I hung up a poster of her in my wall. I even hung it apart from my music posters, so people would see that it's because I clearly have a crush on her.

I am so straight I only kiss girls when i am wasted.

I am so straight I constantly help my friends buy presents for their girlfriends.

I am so straight I've never even had sex with a guy... (or a girl)

So. I. Louis. William. Tomlinson. Am. In. Fact. Straight.

-

I go sit by Zayn who looks so pensive, I would think he's mad if it wasn't for the slight grin on his mouth.

"Vas happenin'?" he says while I lay my books on the table and i sit on the chair next to his.

"Not much, you?" I answer softly.

"Why the long face?" he asks, but completely cuts me off before I even get to answer "okay so Gigi's friend is having a small gathering at her place and her parents are out of town, are you up to it?" Gigi is Zayn's girlfriend, he always talks about her... i'm not saying he shouldn't, but it gets kinda annoying sometimes. she came here from the U.S. as an exchange student last year and Z and her have been dating ever since..

"sure! I'll have to ask but my mum would probably say yes.." I answer. I'm actually a little excited, Gigi and her friends are pretty cool to hang with... 

I rather stay at home, maybe read, listen to some music. But I like hanging out with people sometimes, as long as we have fun, and I've never been much of a popular kid, but it's not like no one knows my name. I'll always have a bit of that weight on my shoulders, I am always scared of what the rest will think of me, of what they say when I'm not around, what they think about me. If there's something wrong with the way I act or the things I say. I feel like there's a lot of me that I'm too scared to show the world because of what they might think about me. 

But I just try to focus on the good things and lock away all those feelings an insecurities.

"I'll pick you up at 5:30-ish, is that okay?" Zayn asks me while the teacher walks into the room, so I nod to let him know i'm fine with it...

\---

Harry's POV

I've been so tired all day, so I just lay my head on the table while the teacher talks something about the mitochondria or something like that, I don't really pay attention. I just close my eyes and put my earbuds on, and I play some music, something soft, mostly by 'sleeping at last' and some other artists on that range. This specific song calls my attention, it's a cover of an Ed Sheeran song by this girl who goes by 'Birdy'. 

While I drift off into my dreams, I hear the loud bell ring. 

I get up as fast as I can. while i rush through the hallways I see my friends Liam and Niall, "my place, today at six?" I ask quickly.

"yeah, sure!" Liam answers, "you?" he gestures towards Niall, "Oh don't flatter me, you really think i have something better to do?" he lets out a laugh. Niall has always had a sense of humor, ever since he moved here from Ireland we've been really close, I'll never forget that day on year 5 when he walked into the classroom for the first time, and he was dressed up as a leprechaun. I might not have the best memory out there, but I still remember every single thing since i met that little Irish boy. 

With Liam it was different, our dads have been friends since they were kids. We used to drive to Wolverhampton almost every weekend when we were kids to visit him and his family. And when I was 7 and my parents got divorced. My Mum, my sister Gemma, and I moved to Manchester shortly after. And not that much later, his dad got a job here, so they had to move too. Our mums stayed friends, which made us stay friends. I'm pretty thankful for that, because of it we're as close as we are. And we have basically been friends since forever. 

And ever since Niall moved here, we have had our little three-person club.

-

After talking to them I head out and walk my way home. I walk as fast as I can, because I don't want to get caught up in all the drama that goes on at school on a Friday afternoon. 

It takes me less than 20 minutes to get home. And I still have about two hours until my friends come over. So my first instinct is to take off my clothes, put on some boxer-shorts and grab my book. And then, I just lay there on my bed, reading through pages of this love story, this forbidden love story, I submerge into it and let this book take me to it's own reality...

And when I let myself go, and dive into the printed letters that form such beautiful words. I feel like I'm right there. Somewhere in northern Italy. I feel deeply connected with this extremely fulfilling sense of calm taking over me. And I just let that vision, that feeling, drift me along, Taking me along the story of these two boys who fell in love with each other. But it seems that the world wasn't ready for a love so pure, that created a light as bright as the stars. But the world's eyes weren't ready for that light, it blinded them. So this world, this universe, had no other escape, so as a last resource all it did was pull them apart. Without any warning, nor any explanation. It pulled them apart. 

They had fallen in love so hard for each other, that the couldn't stay together. I wish I could say it was for a good reason. But why fall in love at the beginning. They could've spared themselves so much pain. But in the end, that experience made them who they are now. Love made them the men thy are now.

Love. Such a weird concept.

Why would the universe make to people fall in love when they shouldn't? Why would the world hurt them in such way. Leaving them. Alone. With just the glimpse of a memory about that love that once was. The ghost of the one who you love with your whole heart, just lives there, forever, deep inside your soul. And it tears it apart every single second.

In my sixteen years of life, I have never been in love. Of course I love my mum, my dad, my sister and my friends. But I've never felt that love towards someone that would let you leave everything behind just for them. That feeling of home, of belonging with the right person, that person that will always be your home. And no matter where you are in life, they will wait for you, they will hold on to you as hard as they can, and never let go. 

That love where it's just you and them, against the world. 

I try to distance myself from pain. But I have started to see that by keeping myself away of bad feelings, I'm also shielding myself from good feelings. I just realized that if I want to actually live, I have to take the risks. 

After all, angels can't fly without that slight chance of falling...


End file.
